Ballet Lessons, 2007, Two-channel video installation, 04:37, Dimensions variable

One of my alter egos is the “adult-girl” doll child. She is an amalgamation of my childhood anxieties and who I am now—an adult woman with the same questions and fears of my younger self. No matter how old I am, I concern myself with perfection and its attainability, and my relationship to societal and cultural acceptance.

This bittersweet “perfection” can be seen in this video installation where I recreate the emotions and thoughts that come from various life experiences. I transformed a gallery (12’ x 22’ x 11’ high walls) into my childhood music box. A life-sized ballerina twirled to a looped “Theme from Love Story” recording in a room lit with a pink light, while two videos were projected on opposite walls. One showed a children’s instructional ballet class and the other was the “adult-girl” doll child falling far short of perfection with humor and awkwardness. As an adult, the music box, the ballerina, and the music still have an appeal, but it is tinged with loneliness.